Indecision

I'm 6 weeks postpartum and I cannot wait to get back on Twister. E was over last week to trim his hooves and I almost had her take the baby who was hanging out in the sling on me so that I could just SIT on Twister in the barn.

As far as what I do when I start riding again (which will still be at least another month... I'm still too messed up and have a bit of healing to do) that is the question.

I've been watching videos of me riding and I've decided Twister and I sucked at jumping. Well I did anyways. Why did no one tell me this?! I look like shit! I'm all over him. Jumping way too far ahead. Hanging on for dear life. I don't look confident and looking back, I didn't always feel confident. Especially during July. We were so off that whole month. I'm really shocked I never had a bad fall. Just luck that I didn't. That and I have a horse that would really rather I stay on.....

So do I trail ride and flat until I get my strength and riding muscles back (will take MONTHSSSS) and then ease into jumping maybe next spring? Or do I flat the crap out of Twister and get him ready for when Sianna will be big enough to ride on her own (at which point Mommy gets to go horse shopping!) and until she can ride him maybe just focus on the flat work and do some dressage clinics with Silke? Maybe a local show? But mostly putter. And yes, when she's a toddler, Sianna will ride Twister. He's huge but I completely trust him. He's perfect with kids. Ponies are evil.

Maybe becoming a mom has made me soft. 6 months ago I couldn't wait to be jumping again. But as soon as I was holding my little girl, everything changed. I still want to improve my riding. I love riding and someday Sianna and I will be riding together. But I've found I'm suddenly not so hung ho.....

my little farm girl

I guess I'll just ease into riding when my crotch finally feels well enough to be on a horse. And play it by ear from there........