Friday, May 22, 2015

For Sale Posts: A Rant

I've been posting a lot this week. I guess I have a lot to say. Then again, anyone who knows me in "real life" knows I never shut up. So.....

Here's my beef with people posting horses for sale. Especially on Facebook. My person and I were on the lookout for a new riding horse for him (seeing as Twister is MY horse now and we both know it lol) and I've been through A LOT of sale posts on Facebook and Craigslist. Basically, I have had to un-follow or un-join almost every group that sells horses. Here's why. (Seeing as we are all on FB and probably all scan CL, I don't feel the need to add photos to this post. It's bad enough we have to see it those sites......)

1. Grammar and spelling. If you sound like an ignorant hick, chances are I'll pass right over you because you probably don't know your ass from a hole in the ground.

2. Almost every horse on FB and CL look half starved and sickly. And it makes me sick. Trying to sell your horse? Trying fucking feeding it. No one wants to buy a horse that looks like it might keel over at any moment. Which is sad. But the truth.

3. The pictures. If you are going to sell your horse, take CONFORMATION SHOTS. Take shots with a riding doing the things the horse was trained for.... ya know going around a barrel or over a jump or hacking out or giving a lead line lesson to a toddler. Something PRACTICAL. Stop fucking hanging all over your horse and standing on his back or have 4 people on one horse. This shows me nothing other than the poor kid is probably so freaking annoyed he could kick the next person to try to get on him into tomorrow. And DEFINITELY stop fucking doing it if the horse is skin and bones! All you're showing me is that he is bomb proof because he's half starved and YOU are an asshole. Want to show he's well-behaved? Take a confo pic with dogs hanging out around him. Or put a tarp on his back. Walk him through pool noodles or something.

4. A dead broke horse does not in fact equal a child-safe or husband-safe horse. Twister is dead broke. Hardly ever a spook. Goes wherever whenever you ask. But would I let a child hack out on him alone? HELL NO. Do not post that your horse is dead broke and make it to mean also child-safe. Because that's not true. A horse can be dead broke and still only intermediate rider and up safe. Child-safe means child-safe. Bomb proof horses do not exist. I've seen the best child-safe, 100 year old horses spook at something. There is always that ONE thing that will set even the best, "dead broke" horses off. Know what that thing is. Twister hates garbage cans. Just his thing. They might eat him. Swallow him up. For some it's the most stupid ass thing. But they all have a thing.

5. The price. Don't drop a horse to $300 and say "no kill buyers or horse traders". Seriously. You might as well hang a sign that says Dog Meat. And the way some people push their horses. Don't get in a hurry. Go through an actual adoption process of sorts. Don't sell him to the first person with $300 cash. Remember that sign you practically hung??? SMH. Say "to good, inspected home only" or "will interview potential buyers". Make sure you do. Kill buyers won't take the time. A horse trader might try to pull one over on you, but most won't. They want quick buys to make quick sales. No everyone looking to buy will keep your horse forever. But make sure there is a way to keep up with the horse. The OTTB we sold 2 years ago went to a home where I knew they planned to train him up and resell him as a hunter or polo pony. But I also knew they wouldn't sell him to a kill buyer or anything. I kept in touch and found out they kept him as a personal riding horse.

6. Know the damn difference between a colt, filly, stallion, gelding and mare and for Pete's sake, know how to SPELL those words!!! There is no such thing as a guilding. Jeesh!

7. List ALL the information needed. I swear if I have to or see anyone else asking "height? age? breed? how much training?" List everything up front. If I were to sell Twister his post would read:
"Twister is an 11 year old QH gelding out of a Dash For Cash line. He is 16.2 hands tall. Mostly sound on barefeet when cared for regularly. He does it all: western and English, trail rides, has shown and been in the ribbons at combined tests and horse trials, he is currently jumping 2'6" and never refused a jump. He is also a pony horse for the baby racehorses. He is safe for a child when accompanied by an adult. Is good with dogs and cats and other horses. No bite. No kick. Is a cribber but that is controlled effectively with a collar. Asking $10,000 OBO. Will not sell unless new home is inspected. Contract for First Right of Refusal will be required."
Just an example! Also, tell the reader how tall the rider is so we can tell if you're lying about how tall the horse is. Also, list the location!!!! I might think I've found the perfect horse and withdrawing the money from my checking as we speak then find out the horse is 8 hours away. Not happening. Not paying more for diesel than I would for the horse.

8. Stop putting small small children on horses without helmets!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9.Training posts.... 16 year old girls posting as professional horse trainers? Might be a very good rider. Might have some serious horse sense. But I honestly cannot name one person I know, and I know a lot of people, that would send their horse to a kid for training. And if it's an adult, maybe you should make sure the trainer has some sort of farm insurance or training insurance. If he breaks your horse down or the barn caves in on the horse, is everything insured? Or are you up shit creek...? This isn't just mean the farm insurance agent talking. This is me a horse owner talking. And I bet a 16 year old girl doesn't have coverage for anything. This is real life. Not Heartland.

10. Here's the last one. Because I've talked enough today..... 9 and 10 month old "weanlings" still in a pen with their mother. No. Just no. Cut the cord already. You are creating more behavioral issues than anyone wants to deal with.

The horse I think I am going to pick up sometime this weekend had a very educated, honest post about the horse. Clear conformation pics. A description of the things he's done so far and the training he's had. All with correct grammar and spelling. The owner was very easy to get a hold of and has been in touch all week about the horse. She's also not pushing the horse. I said we wanted him and like most people online right now didn't say the horse goes tomorrow or I find another buyer. Because that happened to us a few times already. I will not be threatened into buying a horse. If you have another buyer that will come asap then sell to them. If you were really concerned about the quality home your horse would be getting, you'd wait for the right person to come get the horse. But that's just my opinion.

Thank you for "listening" to my rant!


  1. #3 drives me the CRAZIEST!!!

  2. honestly these reasons are part of what keeps me backed off from obsessively looking for a horse. the whole shopping experience sounds stressful every step of the way ... tho of course i'm super excited to hear about the horse you might be picking up!!!

  3. Ugh, when I was horse shopping it SUCKED to sort through all of the terrible ads. So annoying.